Fun with Medical Vocab

Currant jelly stool

 

 

Just like mom makes it!   

Peeds Shmeeds

Everybody calls Pediatrics "peeds" which I thought was really unnecessary at first until I fell into the habit within 30 seconds of being introduced to the term. What's the big deal with just saying the whole word? There's a lot of that in nursing... I was reading a chart one day when I found the acronym, "BRB" (NOT to be confused with "be right back") documented in reference to someones bowel movements. "What does this stand for?" I innocently asked my clinical instructor. "HA!" She replied, "Why don't you try looking it up?" So I did, and then wondered what the heck was so funny about Bright Red Blood in someones numero dos (this brings up the issue of inappropriate joking and coping methods which I hope to discuss in a separate entry).

I guess healthcare workers have lazy tongues... other abbreviations include "cath" for catheter, "segs" for segmented neutrophils (which I can get down with), "tachy" for tachycardia or tachycardic, "telly" for telemetry, and "FOB" for father of the baby (not father of a bitch, as you might have incorrectly guessed).

I'd Rather Be...

...digging ditches. A nurse who works at the clinic where I'm a volunteer told me she'd rather dig "43 ditches" than work in pediatrics. Interesting! I guess I'll get the chance to begin calculating my own own ditches-to-peds ratio this Wednesday when I start my next rotation.

 

Today was my last day of OB... All in all, I saw five births! I can't believe I'll be half way done with this crazy program in November.

Not Your Average Wink

"The anal wink or anocutaneous reflex is the reflexive contraction of the external anal sphincter upon stroking of the skin around the anus. The absence of this reflex indicates that there is an interruption of the reflex arc, which may be in the sensory afferent limb or the motor efferent limb. The synapse between the afferent and efferent limbs occurs in the lowest sacral segments of the spinal cord."

Booty Action

I got to see my very first hemorrhoid today and my instructor even made me poke it.

"Touch this," she said. 

  So I did. 

  The patient said, "Ouch." 

  And I said, "I'm sorry."

 

Later on I got to play interpreter for a Spanish speaking couple who were going home with their new baby. They weren't leaving though till I gave mom a shot of Depo Provera in the butt cheek. I'm pretty sure I overheard the father discussing employing the clamp that had been used to pinch off the end of his son's umbilical cord as a roach clip.

Calentonas

I started volunteering at this awesome community clinic a few weeks ago just that sees uninsured and under-insured patients. It looks like I'll mostly be working with an OB/GYN which is right up my alley... Today I got to put my Spanish skills to the test, which was a lot of fun for me, and I even learned a new word: "calentonas". The woman who I was talking to used it to describe the "hot flashes" she'd been having. I'm just a little nervous about adding it to my list of vocabulary because, upon further investigation, I found out it can also mean "horny ladies."

Max at 08:47

I was so lucky to see a baby birthed right out of his momma on my second day on the OB floor this weekend. I think they normally put students to the side and let them watch, but since it was just me, the nurse, a Nurse Midwife and an MD they had me hold one of the mother's legs while she pushed. It was pretty A-MA-ZING seeing little Max enter the world!

I'm happy that I can find joy in this experience while still holding onto my conviction that people are having too many babies. When I hear about families of 5, 6, 7 children (even three, to be honest) it actually makes me kind of upset. There are so many kids out there who need families, and so many people who are having kids they don't really even want. I don't think it's a popular idea, but aside from being a social concern it is also really an environmental issue. I think I read somewhere that if women started having just one baby, we'd really slow down the population rate and we might even end up having enough resources for everyone (and less wars over them) down the line as a result. There really isn't enough room for all of us on this planet at the rate we're going!