Let Me Help You Help Yourself...

Why do I get the sneaking suspicion that my patients sometimes think I am out to GET THEM? I felt like the mother of three very dysfunctional children today who were all convinced I was being paid mega bucks to inflict pain and suffering upon them (ah HA! ...the sadistic nurse! buuwahahaha!!).

When hospitalized and you are encourage you to do something like... walk, deep breath, remain NPO ... it's generally for a good reason: i.e. to prevent you from getting pneumonia, help you poop, help you not barf all over yourself (and myself, I aint gonna lie).

I hope I'm not crossing the insensitive tough love nurse line here but, I'm not here for my health y'all, I'm here for yours! Smooches.

What to do, what to do...

Does work, life, the weather, ever make you feel like this?

Well, at least we can say we're not handcuffed to a hospital bed (I hope you're not, reader) or getting slapped by a patient (true story). At least not today. We'll see what tomorrow brings.

Dear Diary

It's hard being a (new) nurse. These days I feel like I'm always asking questions or needing help with something --all the time.

The other day I was in the midst of transferring a patient and thought to bladder scan her because she'd been having low urine output, and lo and behold she had over 600 mL of urine hanging out in her bladder (that's over half a 40 oz for all you ghetto fabs out there). That meant I'd have to straight cath her which can be difficult to do on a female patient because the anatomy is not as clear cut as in the picture I just linked up there (I wish). I tried and failed and had to ask for help, and fortunately the nurse who helped me is one of my all time favorites in terms of being available and willing to help. She never seems too busy to lend a hand. An hour or more ended up passing before I was able to transfer the patient to the other floor. I was flustered, didn't take my meal break, lost my assignment sheet and my stethoscope (I thought). This was one of those days that I felt was my time to cry on the job. Luckily it didn't happen. I told myself I'd just have to stay as long as it took me to get the job done. But in the back of my mind I worried that I'd get in trouble for a) missing my break and b) leaving late.

What's a rookie to do?

I Love Nursey

Sometimes I feel like the Lucile Ball of nurses... a well meaning, clumsy and comical nurse who accidentally trips on an IV line and rips it out, who steps on a patient's broken foot, or pats someones back which happens to be covered in 3rd degree burns (all done lovingly, of course).

I can picture myself in one of those comedy sketches from the 50's where they're tripping all over some poor injured patient and he's screaming in pain every time they accidentally let his tractioned broken arm come crashing down on his chest full of broken ribs, or let him fall to the ground as they try to help him into a wheelchair. And all the while the patient is getting madder and madder, screaming, "WHY YOU LITTLE...!!"

Save the Drama fo yo Trauma (Nurse)

Injuries sustained in exploding meth labs... discharging patients directly to the police... patients leaving the floor to shoot speed balls and/or have sex... it's all in a weeks work!
One of the more entertaining interactions I had recently was with a patient who came in testing positive for a controlled substance following an accident. The patient asked me for pain meds to which I replied that I could bring in some Tylenol (the narcotic pain med that was ordered wasn't due yet). The patient responded in the affirmative adding that they didn't want any of "that hard stuff".

Night Shift

I took care of a patient last night who reminded me of the character "Petunia" from Futurama. I imagine her as leading a similar lifestyle out in the non-hospital world but who knows...

This morning as I was helping her get cleaned up for the day I asked if we'd gotten her...., her...
"Coochie?" She replied.
"Yeah, coochie."

Head Bobble

I recently encountered the "Indian head wobble" or "bobble" for the second time in my life a few days ago at the hospital. For those who have never interacted with someone who uses this gesture it can be very confusing and even unnerving. Does it mean yes? No? Maybe? It's especially hard when you're working with a patient and there's a language barrier. Are they happy? In pain? Do they agree? According to this article, the wobble can mean anything from yes to thank you to hello depending on the speed and intensity.

I'm Still Here!

I've been in orientation now for three weeks now, with a couple more days to go until I actually hit the floor. I want to keep writing about my experiences at the hospital in my new role but so far... uh... I haven't had any! Orientation has been long and we are all dying to get with some patients, but it's good that the hospital is so thorough. It's been a lot of review, a lot on policies, etc. They want you to go into the job knowing how to do things the right way, which makes me very happy.

There's been a lot of scaring the crap out of us too... a lot of stories about medication administration errors, code blues, mean doctors, mean nurses... When I started on this journey I thought that when I finally came out of nursing school I'd know how to handle ANY situation. I soon began to realize that that just isn't so. It takes a lot of time and a lot of experience that school just can't begin to prepare you for.

Transitioning

After a LOOOOOOOONG and relaxing vacation, I have finally started my very first job as a nurse! The first day was BORING though... it will be several weeks before I even get to the floor I'll be working on. Today I sat through hours of being talked at about health insurance, life insurance, disability, retirement saving plans... I wonder if I'll have a paycheck left at the end of the month after all the "benefits" are subtracted. hmmmm.... I am lucky to have a job though.

The transition from student back to worker bee is strange. It's weird to come home and not have a text book or test looming over me. It's time to try to remember what that concept of "free time" is all about and what one does with such a luxury!