Newbie

This week marks my one year nurse-aversary and the start of a new position! Just when I was finally getting comfortable and confident in my work... I've been deported from my personal comfort zone.

I was lucky that everyone got along at my last job and that everyone was NICE to each other. I'll remind you that, sadly, this isn't always the case in the world of nursing. Why do nurses eat their young? I don't know. Maybe it's because we're hungry from missing meal breaks. Maybe we're crabby because we haven't had time to pee and have been holding it for 10 hours... Maybe it's because being a nurse is extremely stressful. Whatever the reason, I pray to the patron saint of nurses that I'm able to maintain a blood pressure that is within defined limits and that, above all, I don't cry.

Least Favorite Words

The four words I absolutely dread hearing come from the mouth of a patient are (in this particular order):

It could just be an anxiety attack or pain from an injury (shoulder or rib fractures to name a couple) but it also might be a freakin' heart attack, y'all. It's happened to me a few times already, and what follows that evil utterance is a barrage of tests which include:
1. EKG (which you hook up in a nonchalant manner to give your patient the impression that you do this all the time at 3:00 am)
2. Troponin labs (which will then have to be repeated every few hours, oh and it's fun to draw someone's blood under stressful circumstances when you're a new nurse and not a great phlebotomist so far)
3. Chest x-ray (also totally normal at 3:00 am)
4. You peeing your pants a little because you're afraid they actually are having a heart attack and that they just might code on you (#4 does not require an order from a doctor).

Oh S*@$!!!

I had to give my first sternal rub today when I found my patient unresponsive in bed. Seemed she was sleeping so peacefully but, alas... no. A sternal rub is a type of painful stimulus one can apply when trying to wake an unresponsive patient (see green glove below). Try it on yourself and you'll agree it hurts (I just did). Others include pressing down on the nail bed with your fingernail, pinching/twisting the skin below the collar bone, and pressing on the (closed!) eyeball.

This was the first time I've ever gotten close to a code with my own patient and it was pretty intense. I think I heard someone call it a "soft code" which made me think of soft core porn but in life saving terms rather than sex movie ones.

Dear Diary

It's hard being a (new) nurse. These days I feel like I'm always asking questions or needing help with something --all the time.

The other day I was in the midst of transferring a patient and thought to bladder scan her because she'd been having low urine output, and lo and behold she had over 600 mL of urine hanging out in her bladder (that's over half a 40 oz for all you ghetto fabs out there). That meant I'd have to straight cath her which can be difficult to do on a female patient because the anatomy is not as clear cut as in the picture I just linked up there (I wish). I tried and failed and had to ask for help, and fortunately the nurse who helped me is one of my all time favorites in terms of being available and willing to help. She never seems too busy to lend a hand. An hour or more ended up passing before I was able to transfer the patient to the other floor. I was flustered, didn't take my meal break, lost my assignment sheet and my stethoscope (I thought). This was one of those days that I felt was my time to cry on the job. Luckily it didn't happen. I told myself I'd just have to stay as long as it took me to get the job done. But in the back of my mind I worried that I'd get in trouble for a) missing my break and b) leaving late.

What's a rookie to do?

phlebotomy! phlebotomy!!

I've had this song stuck in my head all day -except I sing "phlebotomy" where they sing "lobotomy" in the opening lines :)

I spent the whole today at a lab drawing blood. No more Shakey Hand McGee over here! Next hurdle: IV insertion!!

Prepare to DIE

Dear Patron Saint of Nurses...

Please help me pass the NCLEX!!!! I'm straight up loozin my shizz over here...

NCLEX is coming....!!!

I signed up for the NCLEX a few days ago. I'm so scared!!!!

Please, oh spirit of my deceased kitty, let me pass on the first try!!!